There’s been a couple of things happening lately that have given me cause to think about my drinking, well more my not drinking actually.
First up is I live sup alpine and just recently we had a good snow fall up here. It was wonderful, snowing all weekend stopping just short of trapping us from being able to get down. Now in times good by I’ve joked about this, about being snowed in and how all would be well as long as I was well stocked with wine, otherwise I’ll have to have some choppered in. Now I was joking except well I wasn’t entirely. I did need to be well stocked, you know – just in case.
So now it’s happened, well almost, and I didn’t have any but equally I didn’t need any, didn’t want any and certainly didn’t give it any thought.
Of course I do now make sure I have a full spare soda stream gas cylinder at the ready…………………I do drink a lot of sparkling water!
My second situation is far more sombre. A very close friend has recently been diagnosed doing cancer in her breast, we are now waiting painfully for biopsy results to see what happens next. And waiting sucks.
Her diagnosis has totally floored me, though I knew she had found a lump we were both sure it would turn out to be nothing. Except it didn’t.
In my drinking days I would’ve turned to the wine for consolation and support. After all I was hurting so I needed it, deserved it and if ever a situation called for a time to drink this was it. Only natural.
And there would’ve been no stopping at one or two.
And I would’ve been pretty useless in the help department.
Turning to drink at this time would be nothing but a self serving self absorbed self pitying unhelpful unsupportive useless sorry for myself waste of time, not to mention a little selfish. After all it’s not about me and I am not going through this. My friend is. My friend is thick in the middle of unknown.
Yes I am wounded, my heart hurts and I am doing a little fear of what may lay ahead. Drinking would only make a crappy situation so much more crappy.
I am immensely grateful for my sobriety.
I am fully present, able to help at any given moment.
I am strong.
I am fully able to give Reiki healing each time I see her.
I am here.
So I raise my fluted glass of sparkling water and I toast to sobriety, good health, good friends, spirituality and God.
For I need them all.