Or lack there of these days.
Foundation. Blusher. Eyeliner. Lipstick.
Once upon a time I NEVER left the house without putting it on. This face was nude for no one. I worked out one day in the recent past that I hid behind make up. By putting it on I felt safer. By putting it on I felt my physical flaws [in my eyes anyway] were safely hidden. Now I don’t. Very rarely do I put on my full make up although I am still partial to a bit of lippy.
Add to that these days, I can be found without a bra on. Say what?? Yep, I love being braless. Not usually with visitors around but sneak up on me when I am home alone and the girls are free ranging under my shirt.
It’s not that I have anything against bras, in fact I love a brand new lacy number which elevates the girls to a status not seen since before gravity and breast feeding and gravity. Seeing them sit up high with a decent sort of cleavage tantalisingly revealed makes me proud.
But when hanging out with the animals – who by the way don’t care what I wear or how I look – a bra isn’t an essential item of clothing. I do have what I affectionately call my farm bra which holds the girls in place but little else. Whatever, works for me.
Well – shock, horror – the other day after my shower in front of safe people [aka my sister] I went back down to be social braless. Oh the decadent sense of naughty freedom I felt. Pretty sure my moment of rebellion went unnoticed which I guess is how it should be.
Some days my husband wonders just who I am – no makeup, no bra, what next!
It’s liberating. They may only be little things but in their own way they are freeing and speak volumes about the about face full on improvement with my relationship I have with myself.
I am getting braver about going out without worrying about what I look like, warts and all. Well I don’t have any warts but I do have a belly which looks about 9 months [okay 10 months] pregnant and on a bad day with quadruplets. I’m loving myself enough to relax [ish] about it and I am on increasing occasions finding myself encouraging and supportive of myself in my most vulnerable hateful areas. Huge indication of personal growth.
And I take full responsibility for my belly, I no longer blame it for the state it is in. In fact on occasions I’ve been known to embrace it, tell it how beautiful it is and how much I love it. Now those words may come out stilted at times but fake it till you make it is a good mantra to have. And despite my worst efforts my belly continues to do its job for my body to the very best of its ability. It has never given up on me. How cool is that!!!!
I figure if I can go without make up and wearing a bra, if I now no longer need a wine [not to be confused with a whine] then I can learn to love all of me and in doing so reap the benefits of that.
Yep, I’m in a pretty good place and while some renovating is still to be done I am loving it here.