Back on a level playing field
24 hours later and I have moved on from my funked out flat mood. Thank goodness. It’s not really my favourite place to hang out but it seems I still need to make anobligatory visit.
I rose early and with a very definite focus to get animals all fed and the wood in allowing me a cruisy time allowance to get ready for the reunion. And the great thing is I rose with an attitude of positivity and strength. Yesterdays moment was, well just that. A moment, a glitch and as unwelcome and unpleasant as it was [and will no doubt be again] I rose up and moved on.
And………………………….the reunion was wonderful. I loved catching up with all my cousins who made up such a big part of my childhood and many of whom I haven’t seen in literally decades. We all look the same but different and they were as delighted to see me as I them.
As I greeted and hugged and chatted I stepped aside from myself and watched myself being this bright enthusiastic confident woman and wondered who is she? Do I know her? Wish I was a bit more like her? Fabulous. For she was me and I am her. How is it that I didn’t know I was that person and I wondered was it an act, was I wearing a mask but you know what, I wasn’t. That is me, was me.
It was all relaxed and normal.
And I am marvelling at myself.
Bear with me as I slightly digress here but it was so surprising and definitely note worthy that I must mention it – upon arrival we were offered a drink…………………….A MOCKTAIL!!!!
Right, back to the discussion at hand [although definitely worth a mention didn’t you think]. My cousin’s wife had been hoping I was going as she was very keen to catch up with me. She wanted to tell me how much she enjoys my photos and the wee stories attached to them that I post of facebook. She feels connected to me and the life I live up here and as we talked she looked at me and said “sounds like you have found your life spot”.
My life spot!!!
What an awesome phrase. And actually so true, living up here has brought so much out in me.
So, as I anticipated and many of you commented, my pre attendance fears and angst’s were unfounded. People were simply pleased to just see me. As I was them. I certainly wasn’t judging them as I feared they might me although to be fair here I was judging me on their behalf without their input or knowledge.
Okay, so I’ve grown heaps and discovered so much more of me but I still have muck to wade through and fog to focus beyond as I find the light again.
The past 24 hours have been a learning experience for me about me.
And as I talked to people I realised that I do have something to offer, I do have something to say and I have a life that arouses interest from others.
Home again now, it’s a beautiful evening. The girls [my dogs] were pleased to see us and even more so when we calmed their grumbling bellies with a very overdue dinner. It’s been a lovely day. I had a great time.
And do I wish I had been able to stay on longer…….yes I do.
Doesn’t get much better than that.
Together in Strength