I am on my second life – not in the reincarnation sense – but in this my current lifetime.
The first 3 decades did have a lot of wonderful stuff/people/experiences in them but it’s a struggle to always see that through a cloudy sad view of those times. Times that I consciously choose to ignore, deny their very existence. But those experiences shaped me, contributing to my thoughts, beliefs and behaviours for many years to come.
But that was then and this is now. Now is now.
Way back in the very first decade of my life I unwittingly and without the wisdom of understanding and awareness gave away my power, denied my authenticity and ignored my rights to simply be me. Over the years this eroded my heart and scarred my soul. And blinded me to the light.
And now I claim my power and my authenticity back and I strive to be me and in doing so be all that I can be.
Now, well into my 4th decade I have turned that state of being around and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life. This is my second life, the one in which I take the lessons learnt from that first life and use them for good on all levels of being.
Even now when I tremble at writing this, even when I shake a little with ego driven uncertainty and fear – for my ego is not giving me back without a damn good fight I eagerly grab this opportunity to forge ahead. I accept the challenge to let myself shine.
I don’t know all the how’s and what’s but I will and I am showing up. Each day I show up and as I don my armour of faith and trust I stand ready to face what may come my way.
I am fully aware that there will be times I will feel the very foundations I am building me up on tremble around me and that on occasions I may find myself knocked down But I know I will rise up and find my footing and I will always be looking forward to where I am going. I acknowledge the past and give thanks for the lessons I was given knowing I no longer live there.
I am here and here is now.
And with an ironic twist that only life can deliver I see how in fact I have always risen. I would not have and could not have made it this far if I hadn’t. I just couldn’t see that then. I couldn’t see that I am so much stronger than I ever knew I was.
There is much work to be done and I anticipate this will take me the rest of my life but I am truly grateful to be doing it. The more layers I strip away, the more clarity I have, the deeper I go the greater my learning will be and in that I have come to realise that the more I know the more I don’t know.
Yes, there is much work to be done.
Good thing I love my job.
In strength we do it together