Well, it’s happened. You know that friend you don’t know how to tell you’ve stopped drinking, nervous over their potential reaction and or judgement? I had one of those and now she knows.
She in the past has been somewhat scathing and actually defensive in her comments on people stopping drinking including me the first time I stopped a few years back. So I did fear over telling her until one day I decided I don’t actually NEED to tell her, I don’t NEED to make it a major issue. After all this is my new normal and I am very okay with it. So I choose to let it come out when it was right to and the situation allowed for it.
And incredibly that situation arose and it was so easy and it was no big deal, for either of us.
I was at a party at her place and when I left she walked me to my car and suddenly remembered she meant to give me my cocktail book back she had borrowed months ago. I immediately said “Don’t worry about it, I don’t need it anymore” which of course lead to a conversation about why. It was a brief conversation and I was lightly honest and moment over and onto the next story to catch up on.
I didn’t so much as feel a sense of relief that it was out in the open as I felt a small thrill of excitement. I did it, the time was beautifully right and all is well. I don’t know what she makes of it all post party but neither does it matter. It’s almost been a year and she hadn’t noticed.
It did make me think though that despite her previous comments had I made this bigger in my head than it really was. I think maybe I mentally make a drama of it in my early days of not drinking but I am so much stronger in that decision now that however it went down didn’t matter. And equally I think I spoke about it with confidence and conveyed a sense that it’s just totally normal.
There is really only one reveal left now and that will take place in August when the work group gathers to go to conference. I know it’ll be fine though I think maybe some might just go into shock temporarily. Could be quite entertaining.
What I’ve learnt from this though as this is my story, totally my story. It’s up to me who I tell and what I tell and when I tell. And I can choose to allow things to happen in good time and it’s totally okay to ensure I am okay and safe with it first.
Oh and one things I’ve noticed at social gatherings lately is that there are more non drinkers or super quiet drinkers [the ones that are happy just to have one] than there are drinkers. I am actually in a popular group.
How exciting is that??