Well, first up I ditched my pity party. I had to really, it was a self indulgent non productive counter supportive state of being. I created it and so it was within my power to recreate it. Enough said.
Last night was friends combined 50th celebrations [married couple, his was last year – hers is in a couple of days] It was a lovely fun cruisy evening with lots of chatting and giggling. I had a lovely time. Being a sober drinker was just the norm, no big deal and so easy as not to have to think about it. [Although ironically or weirdly I like to know what wine people are drinking so have a sneaky check of the label but with no desire to have any].
In fact, there was a little sober humour instigated mostly by me and it felt very liberating to have a good ole laugh at it and about it.
I was part of a conversation involving 4 of us but wasn’t really getting it and when I commented about it I got conflicting answers, all funny. I lamented about not understanding and said clearly sobriety was affecting my ability to understand garbled information and if I was drinking then I would get it. Laughter and onto the next conversation. No shocked looks or sudden intakes of breaths. Of course most knew I wasn’t a drinker so it was taken in the fun it was intended.
Later I was chatting with another group of women [maybe hubby is right when he comments how good I am at talking and how often I do it……..?????] and was being asked about the possibility of being snowed in up here. While it hasn’t happened it potentially could happen any given winter. Discussions lead into preparedness and I said the great thing about no longer drinking is that I don’t have to do stress about not having enough wine to get through. Again cue laughter. Commented all in good fun but actually there was a hint of truth in that, I would never have had enough wine if I got snowed in and I would have stressed about that.
Biggest surprise was yet to come when new friend [you know friend of a friend that you get on well with] asked me about not drinking as we queued up for the bbq dinner. She asked did I never drink and I said “OH YES. I sure did use to drink and loved it, heaps”. The natural response is why don’t I now and I was happy to answer that one honestly. Energy work and drinking don’t go together and equally I didn’t like what I was seeing with where my drinking could possibly be heading so I had to stop. Oh you are a good girl says friend. [Actually I get told I am a good girl quite a lot when people do find out].
To my surprise though this friend said “I am so glad I met you and thank you for being so honest, you could be my mentor for when I decide to do something. I need to do something but not tonight of course”. Mentor??? Me?? I thought she was kidding but no she was genuine about it. Whoa, well Whoa. That’s a first.
Friend talked about moderating, cutting back, redefining drinking parameters. I quite honestly said I couldn’t do that, it was all or nothing so I choose nothing. Of course by choosing nothing I gained it all but that’s a conversation for another time, we’d got our meals so it was time to sit down and enjoy.
Friend was super enthusiastic about my non drinking status, seeing value in it for her.
She thought it might be a good idea to have a link to my blog [that came up in discussions] but I’m not ready to do that. Being anonymous equals safe to write what comes and to be honest about what’s happening with me. Something I’m not so sure I could do if people knew who I was. Of course I can distract from mine by sending her some other sites to visit that I find valuable and helpful.
So, pity party to a good night where I was hugged on arrival and hugged bigger on departure.
It was like receiving a spiritual back hander reminding me when I’m not sitting in the woe is me lounge but am interacting with eyes open how much I do matter to people.
Louise Hay said “you are much more than your mind. You may think your mind is running the show. But that is only because you have trained your mind to think in this way. You can also untrain and retrain this tool of yours. Your mind is a tool for you to use in any way you wish.”
Something in that.