The other day the TB testing man was coming to test our 3 cattle. I had them all securely locked in the yards so back to the house I came to do a few chores before heading back down to wait for him.
Imagine my shock then disbelief then horror as I got there and found I had NO cattle in the yards. This was followed quickly by panic as I discovered the broken gate latch. The TB man was due soon and I had no cattle. I threw out a prayer for help and thankfully calm and logic quickly followed.
To cut this story short I successfully got them back in, needing a liitle help from the tester to get the stubborn one where I wanted him. All went according to plan after that and they were released to get on with their day as I got on with my day.
Now, here’s the thing…………….once upon a time I would have just lost it the moment the disaster was realised. Quite possibly tears would have ensued followed by the inevitable beating up of myself. How I was useless, can’t get a thing right, good at and for nothing and so on. I’m sure you get the picture here. Ultimately it wouldn’t have been pretty.
This time within moments of the discovery I was able to pull it together [of course I had a little divine help which I am grateful for] and success followed.
So this brings me to another thing, weight loss and body image. Oh how I long to lose weight and as for body image, not worthy of discussion, so low is mine. Actually I should say WAS mine. Yep, I realised the other day while I have not noticeably lost any weight I AM feeling better about myself, feeling slimmer and sexier and beautiful and incredibly loving this body of mine. I am kinder to it and loving and nurturing of it.
What the hell has happened to me???????????????????????????????????????????
Simply, I stopped drinking.
Yep, no more alcohol has passed these lips in 114 days. And I have come so far mentally and emotionally. It’s incredible and wonderful and joyful and I just want to shout out how happy I am and how awesome this is.
I could not have ever guessed this new state of being and the way I feel about and treat myself was to be my reward for becoming and staying sober.
And then to further this beautiful state of being I began writing about it, putting it out there. Okay so I am anonymous but I’m not anonymous to me when I am writing so this is real and honest. My latest blogs attracted such awesome feedback it truly blew me away and has a few times brought me to tears. That person the feedbackers are responding to is me, incredibly it’s me. This feedback is such a gift and I treasure it. I reread them, marvelling at who I am becoming. I actually quite like myself. And that is such an amazing gift.
I feel validated and real. For the first time ever I feel I am seen, really seen and not forgettable.
So, I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you and once again THANK YOU.